The New Republican Senate Majority Offers a New Agenda (Satire)
As their party now controls the Senate with an insurmountable 41-59 minority, Republican leaders yesterday presented their legislative agenda for 2010 and asked Democrats to join them in crafting non-partisan solutions to nation’s problems.
Jobs, jobs, jobs is the Republicans' highest priority. Their Shelby stimulus plan would create 125 jobs by funding $40 billion of earmarks for two projects in Alabama. In a conciliatory gesture, Sen. Shelby (R-AL) would also release his blanket hold on Obama nominees, thus putting at least 70 more people to work.
The second part of the Republican jobs plan is tax cuts for America’s wealthiest. "We must change the incentives," Republican Leader Mitch McConnell argued. "With taxes so high, most of the unemployed see no reason to get a job. Moreover, as we have proven before, tax cuts by themselves create jobs." McConnell pointed to the Bush tax cuts that resulted in over 800 new jobs in catering bat mitzvahs for daughters of hedge fund operators. Sen. DeMint (R-S.C.) added that that enacting Republican social initiatives - the prohibition of gay marriage, abortion, and reality-based thought - would create millions of jobs.
